First Thoughts on the End of the Year
-Everyone is nicer at the end of the year, other teachers are more friendly, first names are thrown around, and people chat more. I learned first names of some teachers for the first time this week gone past.
-I have invested a seed of friendship with many people in my school…and really didn’t think about missing those folks until today.
-What am I going to do with two months of paid, free time? (Aside from summer classes)
-Oh my god, I made it. Relief. I haven’t started true reflecting yet, but I can say I made it.
-Damn, teaching is really hard. Harder than I thought. This one year felt like six. I gained 20 stress-pound and lost 15. Goal for next year: take better care of my body and don’t let stress control food consumption.
-Taking the classroom apart really sucks. And those barren walls and empty bulletin
boards are ugly.
-I hated throwing away student work, and resented my students for not taking it home. Then I felt pity that they weren’t proud enough of their academics to WANT to take them home.
-Note to self: Write a blog post later this week about how teacher parties really rock.
-After teaching ED (emotionally disturbed) students for a year, I feel pretty ED.
-I locked myself in a bathroom and sobbed like crazy when my last student left around 11 this morning. Tears built from a complicated mix of pride and fear for this student’s future. I don’t have any kids of my own, but I imagine having a child must be a little like this.
-The RCT math results came in last week…and my school did really, really bad. But two of my students passed. I called one student last week and left a voice mail where I must have sounded insane, screaming and getting emotional about how proud I was. That student called back today a little after my crying jag…And I got to tell him to his face (To his voice?) how impressed I was.
-Proctoring exams for ED kids is torture. It broke my heart to see them struggle so hard to stay seated for 3 hours at a time, and get frustrated with only answering a few questions on their scantron.
-I’m a teacher. I teach in Brooklyn. This is real. Teaching made me feel alive. I can do this for another year, maybe I could do it for 20.
-Already I miss the awesome air conditioning in my classroom.
-How do you go from seeing people everyday for 10 months…and then not at all for 2 months?
-Thank the lord I had the good sense not to pursue teaching summer school this year. I don’t think I’d survive the coursework, teaching, and getting ready for next year without burning out mid September.
-I feel like a real adult, building networking relationships with other adults.
-There will be new, first year teachers starting next September. I look forward with morbid curiosity to watching another person travel that same road I just traversed.
-This year has been hell on my emotions. I’ve cried like a sissy in joy, frustration, despair and fear. I’ve brought anger home, and gone without sleep. Am I still me? Am I a different me?
-Teaching poverty level minorities has really made me more sensitive to the everyday prejudice that goes on. (I went to a Mets game yesterday and saw an usher escort a white family to their seats, brush the chairs off and pleasantly remark to enjoy the game. I saw the same usher merely point in the general direction of seats for a black family. WTF?)
There will be more later, and it will be more cohesive. I can’t really focus on more than the weird sense of loss and accomplishment…and the fact I get to sleep in tomorrow.
Congratulations all new teachers.