Highschool: The Land of Indecent Proposals
Man, I get more play teaching high school than I ever had in my life. I’m not disfigured or anything…but I feel like a prom queen with a great hair day the way these students catcall me. When I got into the teaching biz I expected a certain amount of “interest,” being young and female; but I get propositioned every day. Sure, I realize it’s for the shock value, and I’m willing to joke back and keep it light.
“No, I’m not willing to be your Wifey”
“No, I’m not willing to be your Wifey”
"I'm sorry, I'm too young to marry you."
“No, I don’t want to go back to your crib and smoke hella bud.”
“Sorry, I only date boys with diplomas” (I know that might get me in trouble if the student actually graduates)
“You wouldn’t want to date me, I give too much homework.”
Being flippant usually works with the majority of the students who are merely playing, and I like to keep a no harm/no foul attitude…not wanting to become that teacher who freaks out and starts throwing around words like “inappropriate behavior.”
However, among the salacious offers there’s one student who seems particularly earnest in his pick-up attempts and I’m finding it hard to shake him. This boy is a student a few classes down, and when I started teaching his was the first name I memorized of students who weren’t in my class. (The school where I teach is small enough that I can say hi to 60% of the students in the hallway by name. And I like that. The students like it too, I think. Who wouldn’t feel good when someone says hi to you by name and wishes you a good morning?)
So this kid is 16, and pretty decent by nature, never particularly rude or nasty like the population tends to be and almost every day he stops by to ask me to “chill in his hood with him.” I’m not willing to be mean to this kid because he’s not being dirty or awful, just asking me to do things a teacher absolutely can’t. The only problem is everything I say ends up sounding like a weak excuse.
Earnest student: “C’mon Ms. C, come to my hood this Friday night, there’s a hot party.”
Ms. C: “I’m flattered, ducky, but it’s past my bedtime.”
Earnest Student: “What about dinner in your hood?”
Ms. C: “It’s inappropriate for a teacher to go out with a student, I could lose my job” (At this point I’m sensing that the student isn’t just playing around, and yeah I’m hiding behind protocol as to not injure the poor lad’s feelings.)
Earnest Student: “C’mon Miss, no one’s gonna know.”
Ms. C: “I’d know and I wouldn’t feel comfortable.”
At this point I busied myself with writing on the board because the whole scenario was making me uncomfortable. The student was incredibly sincere and everything I said sounded like a weak excuse next to the boy’s persistence. I guess I could have gone ahead and mentioned that I had a live-in boyfriend…but that’s classified info, and I’m not sure it would have helped. It seems like all I can keep doing is saying no, as lame as it is. But I feel bad, knowing how often these kids get rejected in life.
“No, I don’t want to go back to your crib and smoke hella bud.”
“Sorry, I only date boys with diplomas” (I know that might get me in trouble if the student actually graduates)
“You wouldn’t want to date me, I give too much homework.”
Being flippant usually works with the majority of the students who are merely playing, and I like to keep a no harm/no foul attitude…not wanting to become that teacher who freaks out and starts throwing around words like “inappropriate behavior.”
However, among the salacious offers there’s one student who seems particularly earnest in his pick-up attempts and I’m finding it hard to shake him. This boy is a student a few classes down, and when I started teaching his was the first name I memorized of students who weren’t in my class. (The school where I teach is small enough that I can say hi to 60% of the students in the hallway by name. And I like that. The students like it too, I think. Who wouldn’t feel good when someone says hi to you by name and wishes you a good morning?)
So this kid is 16, and pretty decent by nature, never particularly rude or nasty like the population tends to be and almost every day he stops by to ask me to “chill in his hood with him.” I’m not willing to be mean to this kid because he’s not being dirty or awful, just asking me to do things a teacher absolutely can’t. The only problem is everything I say ends up sounding like a weak excuse.
Earnest student: “C’mon Ms. C, come to my hood this Friday night, there’s a hot party.”
Ms. C: “I’m flattered, ducky, but it’s past my bedtime.”
Earnest Student: “What about dinner in your hood?”
Ms. C: “It’s inappropriate for a teacher to go out with a student, I could lose my job” (At this point I’m sensing that the student isn’t just playing around, and yeah I’m hiding behind protocol as to not injure the poor lad’s feelings.)
Earnest Student: “C’mon Miss, no one’s gonna know.”
Ms. C: “I’d know and I wouldn’t feel comfortable.”
At this point I busied myself with writing on the board because the whole scenario was making me uncomfortable. The student was incredibly sincere and everything I said sounded like a weak excuse next to the boy’s persistence. I guess I could have gone ahead and mentioned that I had a live-in boyfriend…but that’s classified info, and I’m not sure it would have helped. It seems like all I can keep doing is saying no, as lame as it is. But I feel bad, knowing how often these kids get rejected in life.
Has this ever happened to you?
posted by Ms. C at 1:02 PM
6 Comments:
These kids are players. I'm old enough to be their grandma now and I still get propositioned--not as much as when I was your age, but it does happen.
I just tell them the clothes I am wearing are older than they are.
Enjoy it, but don't take it seriously. They end up leaving yo and going on to say same thing to next teacher. Be happy that they feel comfortable enough with you to say these things.
I had one of my 11 year old students say I was his "woman". I looked at him, eyebrow raised, and told him I was old enough to be his mother.
Then I realized that I AM. And I wouldn't have been underage when I had him...or any of the kids in my class.
And I went home and cried. :P Not really, but close!
I see some of this behavior too and I AM old enough to be their mother. I tend to cope with it by acting even more "motherly"...discussing their other classes and grades, nagging them about homework. Generally seems to work.
Never had this happen...I am male and at an all-boys school. BUT...
I HAVE had single mothers drop suggestions that I could become "a father" for their children. That's just creepy. Wait 'til the dads get a crack at you during conferences....!
I'm not sure I have to worry about fathers at parent-teacher conferences...you know, since not a single parent has showed up to any conferences this year.
But I promise to be on alert.
Oh, and ew to the kind of woman who would go man-catching at her kid's school. Weak sauce!
It's natural for boys to be curious and common for them to attempt a run at acting on them. Trust me, they are getting all the thrill they need just from the banter with you.
If you email me, I can tell you some specifics of how other teachers have responded, and details of how they handled those same types of propositions.
set1pace@msn.com
Randy
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